Sunday, July 25, 2010

the differences that matter

when you say dance and your best friend says music it means u both have something strong between you..
but when you say music and your best friend says hungry it means u are no longer connected...
i remember i used to play this game of magic when two people say same thing at same time then one does magic on the other to take away the other one's speech because one would speak for the other....though it was stupid but it made me feel connected and it makes me realize that when you are close to someone then  you don't need words sometimes smiles and sometimes just the silence speaks a lot ....... 
when staying close to the only person you love you feel on the cloud number nine but i feel stuck and i hate it..  that spark and that connection is now lost.  did i stay out for long or do i not feel the connection because of something else. we were so close when i was far but what happened now.
i don't know maybe now others are close and not me, maybe we are busy with our own work but how can we be so far staying so close... 
did this ever happen to you..... well i am definitely not overreacting nor i am too protective its just that the comfort and warmth is lost . there are no smiles everything seems so fake now......  i wish i am once again the reason of smile and happiness in my best friends eyes.

Friday, July 23, 2010

letters from my grand mother

dear baby,

thank you for sending my favorite lilies.
you know how much i like them,i collect the rotted ones in my flower box in the attic.
your mother called me for some cake recipes, i guess she wants to give you father some kind of surprise.
while talking she told me you had an argument with your father.
well, i think you are very lucky and privileged to do so.
you know when i was young probably a few years younger than you today
i was sent to my uncle dhawal's house to learn house keeping, cooking, knitting, gardening etc.
for 3 years till the age of fifteen i was treated as a housemaid there.
i was afraid of my uncle, my father and all my elders to even complain that i was given sick food or torn clothes.
i could not complain or fight because i didn't knew i could.
moreover,i didn't knew i had a right to be free and happy. i didn't knew what the world is outside my home.
what i knew is that i have to have babies and take care of my family.
as i was the eldest of all sisters so i got married and
i would not say or ask a single thing for me from my parents or or your grand pa.
i still remember while staying at dhawal uncle's place my father came for some work and
he asked me casually if i wanted to go home. i was filled with joy but
i did not have the guts to open my mouth so i just nodded yes.
he was facing in some other direction so he missed the nod and left me there once again.
so now u understand why you are so lucky to have a fight or in fact to even have a talk with your father.
at least you can say that you want to go back home.god bless you sweetheart.

love you dear.
mama